When she has to dispel her nighttime energy
She can’t think of him for imagining
What things he’s done with the others
And what he might still be doing;
Using distance to hide his actions.
He’s told her way too much.
She was never a jealous person
Strictly for jealousy’s sake
Not until he gave her plenty of reasons
To be suspicious of little things.
A hatred now bubbles inside her
Whenever she sees the same few girls
Showing up in almost everything he does.
She wants to scream them into silence.
Then she dies when he does things back.
She wonders why he keeps the past
Like he has to keep his options open.
She had tried to go down that road once
Of leaving him and being with another
But the new was no comparison to the old.
So she constantly wonders to herself,
Is this the kind of life she wants?
But that hardly matters anymore
For she knows there is no one else
That will satisfy her every way like he does.
With all that’s against him
She doesn’t know why he’s a necessity for her
He is everything she hates
And everything she needs.
Not like she is actually capable of forgetting him.